Let us receive each other’s emotions and listen to each other’s inner words and leave a beautiful imprint in each other’s hearts.” Encouraged by Dr Lo Yao-Ming, participants practiced presenting a graceful demeanour to others. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Are those who help others prepared to face the pain, loss, and confusion of those they assist? How can they not only hold others’ emotions but also be aware of and transform their own feelings?
With Singapore’s ageing population, the number of elderly living alone and the number of elderly patients served by Tzu Chi are both increasing. Volunteers who conduct monthly home visits come from all walks of life. To improve the quality of care, Tzu-Chi Foundation (Singapore) specially invited Dr Lo Yao-Ming from the Social Education faculty of National Taiwan Normal University to conduct a two-day mindfulness workshop themed “Mindful Approaches to End-of-Life Care and Farewell” and “Mindful Care for Loss and Grief.”
On August 9 and 10, 2025, about forty participants, including Tzu Chi home visit staff, dialysis centre staff, home care teams, and community volunteer Dharma family care team, gathered at Jing Si Hall to learn how to accompany care recipients and patients while also attending to their own emotions, fostering care for both themselves and others.
With many years of clinical experience, Dr Lo Yao-Ming teaches in a vivid and healing manner. (Photo by Lai Tong Heng)
Integrating Awareness into Care
“Are you ready to face the topic of death?”
“What is the root of your fear of death?”
On the first day, Dr Lo posed these thought-provoking questions. Most participants answered “fear of pain and suffering (physical level)”; while others cited “attachment (psychological/social level)”, “broken connections (spiritual level)”, or simply “fear of death (psychological level)”.
Dr Lo demonstrating how to care for the dying to ensure a good death and a good farewell between the living and the dying. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Dr Lo explained that the purpose of end-of-life care is threefold: to support a good death for the dying, to facilitate a meaningful farewell between the living and the dying, and to help the living continue to live well. He taught seven skills to proceed steadily and systematically on the path of end-of-life care. Caregivers need emotional stability to be perceived as reliable, warm, and appropriate.
These seven skills are called the “Seven Colour Bridges of Self-Help and Helping Others at the End of Life,” using colour theory to illustrate each step, enriching the journey of end-of-life care. Through mindful awareness of both one’s state and that of the dying person – their needs, physical changes, and hopes, appropriate care and meaningful farewells can be provided.
Tay Gek Choo shared her insight from the workshop: learning to have a good death begins with avoiding negative words. Previously, she often offered many suggestions when caring for care recipients, but as Dr Lo emphasised, the first step is to listen and accept, for that allows the care recipients to express their emotions freely.
The workshop creates a safe environment, allowing emotions to flow and participants to practise relaxation. Pictured are participants Tay Gek Choo (right) and Chai Foong Moi (centre). (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Sitting nearby, Chai Foong Moi resonated deeply with the sharing of others. She realised her previous ways of comforting care recipients were incorrect. She said, “When caring for the dying, we must also pay attention to the family’s pain. In doing so, we not only help reduce regrets but also attend to our own emotions and learn to cherish ourselves.”
She added, “Only by understanding our own emotions can we interact well with others.” Regarding the ideal attitudes toward end-of-life care, she agreed with Dr Lo’s “Three-Heart Steps,” saying, “We must make the elderly happy, assured, and confident so they will not fear death.”
In front of the class, participants demonstrate the “Three Don’ts” of care—avoiding judgment, consolation, and advice—led by Dr Lo. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Loo Soon Huat, a home visit volunteer shared the story of a care recipient he accompanied for over four years. The care recipient once told the home visit volunteers about his deteriorating health, blurred vision, and hearing loss, and said that the Bodhisattva was taking him away. The volunteer did not respond appropriately at the time and only realised two months later these might be end-of-life signs. Through the 'Three Don’ts and Three Dos' mindset, Loo realised that by avoiding judgment, consolation, and advice, and instead practise acceptance, openness, attentive listening, and genuine care, he could provide better support to care recipients.
Home visit volunteer Loo Soon Huat (third from left) believes that through the “Three Dos” (acceptance, openness, listening and caring), volunteers can express care with an open heart. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
Every Service Is a Practice
On the second day, during the “Mindful Care for Loss and Grief” workshop, Dr Lo emphasised that emotional learning is something everyone must face. Often, we neglect our body’s needs and choose to cover up or suppress emotions, but simple breathing techniques can help soothe feelings.
Dr Lo guiding the participants to do breathing and stretching exercises to relax both body and mind. (Photo by Lai Tong Heng)
Wam Kok Boon shared the story of an Indian care recipient who lost his job due to injury in 2019 and struggled financially. His greatest wish was to reunite with his family in India. Wam and the home visit team cared for him for nearly two years, helping him obtain doctor’s approval and subsidising transport so his children could pick him up from the airport. After he returned home, Wam continued providing care to the care recipient via video calls. The last call showed that the care recipient was in a very weak state.
Wam choked up recalling the final video call from the care recipient’s daughter, showing the deceased care recipient. At that moment, he felt shocked, sad, and guilty: “If I hadn’t let him go back, would he have lived longer?”
Wam Kok Boon (second from left) once felt guilty over a care recipient’s passing. After the workshop, he found release, an emotional outlet, and inner answers. (Photo by Khor Kim Seng)
This question troubled Wam for a long time. Now, he has learned to view everything with mindfulness, knowing that the care recipient reunited with his family at life’s end and left with a sense of completion. He said calmly, “I have let go.”
Dr Lo also arranged a “Connecting with the Deceased” session during the workshop. This reminded Wam of his late father: “When I had the ability to care for him, he was no longer with me. This regret reminds me to be sincere every time I accompany someone because life is impermanent.” He realised that “every care service is not just helping others but also a cultivation of life.”
Dr Lo and the workshop participants formed a circle to share insights and heartfelt moments, chant prayers, and light heart lamps. (Photo by Lai Tong Heng)
Drawing on years of clinical experience, Dr Lo taught in a vivid and healing manner. Over this two-day spiritual healing journey, he transformed serious topics like end-of-life care, loss, and grief into life lessons everyone can face gently and peacefully, equipping the participants with the confidence and calm to face life’s important junctures.
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